(Turning someone down gently)
I know a lot of girls who feel too shy at saying “no” to a guy who’s interested in them or asks them out. So, they often have a tendency to invent a fake boyfriend, ignore their phone calls, or say yes to the date, but then think of a last minute excuse to cancel. Think you’re one of these girls? Well, read on, honey.
Let’s start with the obvious. Men are human beings, which means they have feelings too. I know, I know… we often forget this because a lot of us have been hurt by selfish and inconsiderate cads who don’t know how to treat a lady. But there are A LOT of decent men too. Men who deserve to be treated with respect and who need to be remembered as people who have feelings like we do. The next thing to think about is putting yourself in the other’s shoes. If you were him, would you want your phone calls ignored or your dates canceled at the last minute? If you’re doing this, you’re really no better than the bastard prick who messes with your mind. So wouldn’t it be better to put the guy out of his misery and let him know exactly what you feel? Doesn’t he deserve honesty and respect as much as you do?
I know for a fact that most men would prefer to know he doesn’t stand a chance with you than to be led on. If we are all looking for love, then we all deserve to know when we’ve hit a dead end so we can move on. Now, if after knowing he doesn’t have a chance with you, but still continues to pursue you anyway, well, that’s his fault and an entirely different story on how to deal with him.
Here’s the general idea of what I say to turn down a guy:
Scenario A: Getting picked up at a bar
“I’m really flattered, but I’m just not interested.”
Scenario B: After the first date
“I had a great time, but I don’t feel a strong connection between us. I hope you understand.”
→ If he seems like he could be a good friend, add:
“I do think we get along well and if you want to hang out again on a friendly level, I would really like that.”
Scenario C: A friend exposes his feelings to you
“I’m so flattered, but I love you as my friend and I’d prefer to keep it that way. Can we still be friends?”
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